Creepy Clowns Continue to Concern Carolina Cops

A flurry of creepy clown encounters in North Carolina have residents wondering when the circus is finally going to leave town.  A woman in Forsyth County reported that a clown wielding a machete tried to lure her into the woods at approximately 11pm Monday night.  The next morning in High Point a student reported seeing a man dressed as a clown on High Point Greenway near Andrews High School.  Finally, late Tuesday morning a local Greensboro man chased a clown into the woods citing his "fatherly instinct" as motivation.  The Greensboro police department has said that while it is lawful to dress as a clown, they would like to discourage anyone who might be thinking of copying these incidents; so far, no suspects have been apprehended.

What are we to make of this?  Are the Carolinas plagued by horrific harlequins hell-bent on harm, or is this merely a panic perpetrated by misguided pranksters?

Yours in Impossibility,


Tobias Wayland